WE HAVE MOVED!

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IT'S BETTER I SWEAR

ONLY TRYING TO BE FAIR

I NEED TO CUT MY HAIR

Baking and Magic

It has come to my attention that there is among us a magic hat commonly referred to as the convection oven. For where else could you put in seemingly innocuous components to produce a final product as tasty as biscuits or a three-tiered cake. And it is not only these innocuous components, but the fact that they are seemingly combined in very similar ways to make very different items. A handful of glitter and a few taps of the wand will give you a rabbit, and a few portions of flour with butter, salt and baking powder in a large box set at 475 degrees will give you something to go with that rabbit and a bit of gravy.

There is magic in our midst. Or at least in our kitchen. Abracadabra.

"I really should read more." -INTERNET.com

"That's really the only thing worth doing anymore. That and procreation." -RWP (well read artist and recent father)

Really could use a redesign or somethin.

Just returned from world travellin. Multiple worlds. Like Galactus. Feelin like Im needin some redesign happenin here on this here bloggo.

Also no time for apostrophes.

I bought some watercolors at the store.

Turns out I'm not as good as I'd hoped.

Will continue.

Years Gone by Me

i just saw that i wrote 35 posts in 2008.

what the hell did i write about?

Yep.

Somewhere between my alarm going off and me actually getting up today I had a dream where I was playing a show with a drummer on a little stage and I tried to play the oboe and sing at the same time but it wasn't working and then we left and practiced for a little bit and I figured out that a guitar would work much better but then we came back to the show and people had left and we were like what why did they leave and then I decided that I would just start fake shredding on an electric guitar that showed up in my hands and I had a montage of me getting famous and wearing weird masks and a towel cape and making weird shredding music and then I woke up and was not in ICP.

The Spring of Our Disconnect

Midday, rising from my chair. Exiting the building I caught a whiff of the city on a strangely pleasant spring afternoon. The woes of being inside. A strange woman dressed much like a Peruvian panflute player was ordering a coffee in front of me but kept looking out the window with a gaze of pure horror, like she knew an ancient Incan curse was coming. I looked too. There was nothing. She left. The two ex-bikers, I'm certain, that now work as baristas took my order and delivered my order as I was rung up by the teen or post-teen person at the counter. A dollar seventy-five later, back in the open air with my cup full. Strolling across the street while people are bewildered as to why a bus is stopped and fail to realize that it is because they are in the street. The doors were doused last night or in recent memory with vagrant urine and the smell of ammonia mixes with the scent of new paint in the corridor by the elevator. Old and new, dirty and clean. Both a murky puce.

HO Ho! Review'd.

http://www.portlandmonthlymag.com/blogs/culturephile-portland-arts/portland2010-culture-033110/

Get it.

Happy Easter+1

Day after the bunnyhop.
Back to work.
6days/wk.
Yeeps.
:|

Please Give Me a Job, ::thx::

Skills Include:

-Watching Seinfeld
-Playing Neverwinter Nights a lot
-Eating Chocolate and Hot Dogs (at separate times, of course)
-Forming opinions about art and letting you know about them

+4 to ART

What do you call an American version of a chav?

I would like to know so I can accurately classify a great many people in this coffee shop.

Please don't happy slap me.

This is the stupidest thing:






And I even love the interrobang.

But seriously‽

Good luck selling a hybrid of a monkey's bumbum and an @.

10 Things for You to Stop Doing in 2010

1. Stop wearing bag hats. Unless you have dreads. Then get a haircut.
2. Stop taping performance art and calling it video art. Hipster.
3. Stop letting your dog poop on the sidewalk and then leaving it.
4. Stop not showering. That means takes a shower. This isn't the 1600s.
5. Stop balking at people when they don't know about your favorite something something.
6. Stop, collaborate and listen.
7. Stop making half-assed attempts at art and then boasting about them. We all know you stopped after an hour and the thought process was started 15 minutes before that.
8. Stop dressing "wacky" or "unique" or "different". You're just getting closer and closer to boffing club.
9. Stop making Youtube comments about religion. I mean, seriously. Write a book if you care so much.
10. Stop with the dietary restrictions and your foisting of them on unsuspecting restaurants. If you want to eat sand, go to the beach.

20
10

Stop it.